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BRITISH cinemas need your support, so you must do your duty by going to see a crappy cheap horror film since that is all they show. But which one?
HELLO. I’m luvvie and Oscar nominee Richard E Grant and I’ve spent the last six months trying to infiltrate an Eastern European drug and people-trafficking gang. Care for a glass of bubbly?
MEETING an old pal you haven't seen in years only to find he’s not only sober, but proud of it? Here’s how the long, long evening will inevitably pan out.
HAVE you got a sexual past that so vanilla it could be in the freezer section at Asda, but want to appear less boring to a lover? Here’s how to craft a dubious erotic tale.
YOU promised I could livestream an execution but now you’re saying I’m not allowed? That sucks and I hate you I hate you I hate you!
HELLO there, and first an issue many of you are facing this autumn: militant pro-Palestine leftists. They’ve infiltrated the Greens and it could be your garden next.
THE UK’s media has announced it will not stop searching until it has found a critical mass of between three and 15 Brexiters angry at plans to reverse it.
POPE Leo has admitted to friends that his cancer diagnosis has been a wake-up call and a warning that he cannot live life in the fast lane forever.
EVER-RELIABLE box office draw Tom Cruise has made a frighteningly expensive flop with recent film Digger because he broke his own Tom Cruise rules.
ELON Musk has confirmed that he may be a world-class twat but leaving Kyiv defenceless against missile attacks is beyond even him.
WORRIED how you’ll get your fix of university students sadly having sex now that Sally Rooney has pulled her books from sale? Follow this survival guide.
WHAT the f**k? Why am I at a podium? Who are all these people with microphones and questions? I thought I was on a Tinder date?
DUE to my six-figure income and shrewd investments I have close to a million in my pension scheme. Should I give up work, or am I content with showing off in this article?
TRYING to convince your wife she wants an open marriage? These are the reasons why you f**king around would only make your relationship stronger.
BRITAIN has texted the EU at 3am to see if it is still awake for some casual, no-strings-attached fun, it has emerged.
